I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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