I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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