Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
