I can feel you judging me through the phone.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
