I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
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Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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