OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
