I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
