Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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