his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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