so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
