i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
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YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Text me some of your sweat
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