Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize