i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
