Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
