Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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