Nicole vs. Life
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
