i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
