They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
porn star boner night. come get it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
