Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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