Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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