I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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