your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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