Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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