god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
