I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
