I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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