a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
3pm strippers are depressing
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Everyone says I win the strip club
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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