I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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