and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
