I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
