I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize