How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
