I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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