He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
