he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i already hear my dad disowning me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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