I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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