No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
