it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
well, you know. whores of a feather.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
