Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
