So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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