We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
