Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
