would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
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Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
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Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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