Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
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we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
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They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize