nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
