I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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