sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
