So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
home. puking in laundry basket.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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