Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i believe in u and ur pee
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
