what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
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Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
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Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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