I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
