A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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