yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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