ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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