i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
