Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
