Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
