Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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