The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Boobs speak an international language.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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