Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
