I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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