eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
