So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
