hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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