I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Say something about gay babies.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
