I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I am mentally ready for anal.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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