Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
