I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
