Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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