i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
