Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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