If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
